The correct answer to this question is “The Battle Hymn Of The Republic,” sung by a Southern Baptist congregation for the special July 4th services that are being held twice this evening (7:30pm and 9pm, tapioca pudding for dessert!). The choir is dressed in red robes for the occasion and has learned hand-clapping choreography. The members have a special harmony devised for the line, “Let the Hero born of woman crush the serpent with his heel,” but they all come back to the main melody for a staggering crescendo in “With a glory in his bosom that transfigures you and me.” The reanimated ghost of John Brown floats overhead, reciting the words to Jonathan Edwards’ “Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God.” You begin to weep profusely. Your partner begins to weep profusely. The thousand-strong congregation is also weeping profusely. “Be jubilant, my feet!” you all cry out together. You will never fuck again.
What’s the worst song to have sex to? | The A.V. Club
The obvious answer here would seem to be Yakety Sax, but I’m gonna do a write-in for Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young.”
"Battle Hymn" is the same melody as UGA’s fight song, so I’ve technically done that (it was pretty good, and my superstitious side loves to point out that the Dawgs are undefeated when I have sex at halftime.)
I’d say the worst is music at the extremes, like Lou Reed’s “metal machine music”, anything off Goreguts’ Obscura album, or a Raffi record.
I’m sad that I totally forgot to answer this Q&A but in case you were wondering, I would’ve written about the Yoshi’s Story soundtrack.